Mother's Day for a Single Mom

Ok... let's see how long this post will take me to write. I have a feeling I will have to stop and have a good cry. Que the stop watch!

This Mother's Day is a little different than the others that I have had. This is my first Mother's Day as a single mom. It is also the last "first" that I have to deal with since being separated. Surprisingly this was a tough one and I didn't really expect it to be that way.

First of all, Blake is still little and the concept of Mother's Day doesn't mean much to him yet.

Thankfully my parents helped him make the weekend special for me. It was still hard seeing/hearing about the other moms who were being pampered today. In the world of single moms that just doesn't happen. I still got up bright and early, made breakfast, cleaned and did laundry, played with Blake, did bath time, and everything else. I know that one day my hard work will pay off, it's just hard in the mean time.

Being a single mom this past year has been the hardest year of my life. {get the tissues ready for me, please}. There have been good days. Days that I felt like supermom!!! I could do anything!! I could literally give Mary Poppins a run for her money! However... if we are being brutally honest here... there have also been days that were just hard. I wouldn't have a second to breathe. After putting Blake to bed I would just go to my room and cry. Then wake up, shake it off, and do it all over again.

The crazy part is that I know I am not alone. I join the huge number of women who are currently, or who have in the past been, single moms. You know what I am talking about... you get me! We are usually the silent sufferers. We just smile and keep going and we just know we will make it work. Even when we are swearing at life under our breath.

The funny part is that when I do get a break from "single mommy life" (yes, it happens sometimes), I miss it. It's like I don't know what to do when I am not a single mommy. That is because that child is my life!!! Blake is my world. No matter what happens, he brings me the most joy. When I am sleep deprived (because I'm up late doing stuff around the house and I never can sleep in past 6:30), it's his little smile that I wake up to. When I finally get to sit down after work, it's his little 35 lbs self that climbs in my lap to snuggle. When I feel like I just can't take anymore, it's his little adorable self that says, "I love you, Mommy."

I beat myself up a lot about things I have done or haven't done. I get frustrated with the past year of my life, a giant situation I can't control. I am sure I am doing a lot wrong. But I do know I am getting something right. I am being a good mom. I am not perfect, but I love that child more than anything!!! I selflessly give him everything I can every day. His priorities and happiness will always trump mine. I try to take him to new places and show him new things. Most importantly, I give him love and my time. I even watch all of his little toddler shows and I sing the theme songs and dance with him. That in itself should win me major brownie points!! I have also learned everything there is to know about superheros... just saying!

I pray one day Blake will see that. I hope he knows how much I love him and how much I do for him. We have an amazing bond. I would give anything for that to continue as he gets older. Being his mommy is the best job EVER! It's my life.

Give those moms around you a big hug today. We all have our little battles and we are all doing our best! We are all rockstars and we are all better because of our challenges. We make it by helping each other out and encouraging each other. 

Whew... I made it. Not too bad on the tears, right??!  :) Now I have to go pick off every sprinkle on a cupcake because Blake doesn't like the sprinkles. And yep, he is eating the last two cupcakes. None for Mommy. Happy Mothers Day! Haha!